FINDING YOUR OWN SPACE

FINDING YOUR OWN SPACE.

You can’t fit in everywhere.

There has to be a space where you were created to be in and function effectively there.

Be content with it.

Don’t feel you aren’t good enough. Because you were made in the image and likeness of a God who is good enough.

Just embrace who you are and love your place.

Never compare your life with any other or wish you were another. Never look at a person and wish you were him or her.

Comparison is the thief of potential. It cripples you and constantly has you doubting yourself.

We all can’t be everything, and that’s what makes it even all the more special.

That’s what makes your flavor bud because not everyone has it.

Just embrace who you are and love your place.

                          

Why do you think your neighbor is better than you?

The garden always looks better from afar.

That person is just someone that has found their space and is cultivating it.

You too can. Don’t get too busy admiring another person’s lawn that you can’t even see that you have the raw materials to build yours too, and even better.

Just embrace who you are and love your place.

God has you exactly where he wants you to be.

Harness all the potential he has put in you

Shine your light and let it burn bright

Be yourself, because there is beauty in your uniqueness.

I remember once upon a time

When I didn’t see the abilities in me

I rarely functioned because I doubted I could get it right

It’s sad how much we deny ourselves when we are constantly forcing to fit into another man’s corner.

Why?

What’s wrong with you the way you are?

Let me answer that. Nothing!

You just need to see differently like I began to.

The world is waiting for you daily as the clock ticks.

You know why?

Because it has just one of you.

Don’t each of the stars radiate in their own unique way?

Just embrace who you are and love your place.

I knew who I wanted to be but I wasn’t sure I could get there, because my eyes were too busy roaming to look for who I felt was doing it better and that would cripple me. Every time I wanted to try, I would say “There is no point”. How many times have you said that to yourself and how many times has that hindered you?

Well, there is a point. And that point is that you are unique in your own way, and though you may have the exact same gift as another, your destiny is still different. Your audience in life is different. Your impact too will be different.

Nothing else brings joy and fulfillment like walking your own path, doing your own thing and coloring your own space…

Just embrace who you are and love your place.

It’s your unique rhythm. Find it, and sing it to the world! 

THE TRANSFORMATION PROCESS- FELIX SHARES HIS STORY

THE TRANSFORMATION PROCESS- FELIX SHARES HIS STORY

I remember meeting Felix in NYSC camp. That day, all corp members were asked to sit on the bare floor by soldiers with our sparkling white shorts. I didn’t even wait to hear the complete instruction when I immediately left the rocky area I was to go and search for a smoother place to sit; even though that meant leaving my platoon line and going to another platoon which wasn’t really allowed. I picked up a nylon so I could spread on the floor to sit on. There I was in platoon seven line all the way from platoon four. As I spread my nylon to sit beside these group of strangers, I landed beside Felix. We would later become friends, and he would later bare his life to me…

Merely looking at him, I could tell his soul was burdened. I notice he often sighed, rarely smiled and seemed to always be lost in thought. I wanted to help him. I knew I could help him. Well, I couldn’t offer much except to lead him to the one who helped me and still helps me.

And so we talked. A lot. Because there was so much to be told. We would sit back after our SAED classes and talk for long hours, only dispersing when the clouds began to get darker. And I fed him with so much about God. So much so that he wanted to experience the kind of excitement with which I talked about someone…

Today, six months later, Felix has become like a “big son” to me, and has grown from being that sad and depressed individual, to one who has been taking little yet consistent baby steps into becoming the best of who he was created to be.

Here is what Felix has to say about his own life:

“My name is Felix Ohimai Aikoroje, I am from Edo state,Nigeria but I was born in Kaduna. From the first day I opened my eyes as a child, I have had very horrible experiences. We are six boys and growing up, things were really hard for us as my both parents were jobless. I went to a public primary school, and I started hawking from the age of 5 to stay in school even though our school fees was just one hundred and fifty Naira. Even at that, we would still be the first to be sent home for school fees or torn uniform. We lived in a garage for five years because we couldn’t afford to rent a room and the heat from the cars would nearly kill us. We lived close to a gutter that stunk all day. When I got to secondary school, we couldn’t afford uniforms so I had to use the uniforms passed down to me by my elder brothers, and that made me odd. Because of that, I was nicknamed “odd one out” so I looked for a way to fit in, and that led to my addictions. I began stealing, drinking, staying out late, doing a lot of crazy things with women, and that continued till University. I would feel a conscience tug every now and then but will shrug it off. All this while, I was singing in my church choir while living a double life. One day, I came out for an altar call in church after struggling so hard, yet it was the best decision I have made. I know I’m not perfect but I love God and he loves me, and he has used my amazing friends to change me.”

This story always gets to me, and here is the thing- It’s okay to be frail. It’s okay to have a past. It’s okay to be laden with imperfections. It’s okay to have made mistakes, no matter how grave they are. But my friends, just don’t live in that past. Just don’t let the accusing voice of the enemy cause you to get stuck in the guilt of the past, so much so that you can’t move forward. So much so that you can’t see ahead of you. It doesn’t matter what it is- addictions, bad habits, ugly cycles…proclaim your freedom in Christ. He gave it to you and he hasn’t changed his mind. Don’t let the enemy cause you to feel unworthy to receive of it because of some mistake that the precious blood shed for you already took care of. There is a way forward. You will find life, hope and strength for the future as you move out of that cage. Felix is a living experience. He is not perfect. I am not. But what matters the most, is striving daily to become better. It will take a while. It may be one step at a time, or maybe two. But of course it is THE PROCESS. So keep it moving! Bless!

Fam, let’s say something encouraging to our friends striving daily to be better people!

PS: I have Fel’s full permission to share this. Actually, it was his idea. (But to get him to actually write his story na war. I put a lot of pressure on him eh. But that’s what mommas do right?!)

Also, people complained of not being able to comment because of the google account setting. I have deactivated that, so anyone can comment.

Do you want to get in touch with me? See previous posts for contact details.

DEPRESSION...WHAT REALLY IS THIS THING?

DEPRESSION…WHAT REALLY IS THIS THING?

I must have been in about 200 or 300 level in the University when I began to notice I was losing my enthusiasm towards virtually everything in life. I didn’t want to hear from my friends again, I didn’t want to go out nor pick any calls (except it was my family) and I would stay back in my room while others went for lectures and tell my friends “I just want to be left alone to think”... I was just constantly unhappy. Well thankfully, I’m not as introverted as I was when I was younger, but back then, I had a shell. I said very few words and I had just one constant companion, that was my mind, and boi did my mind deal with me!

The cause of my depression would be a topic for one good day, (and don’t worry, it wasn’t a heart break. lol) but in that season of life, I cried a lot. Oh, I cried. I couldn’t sleep. My pillow was constantly soiled in tears. I had battled rejection, fear, failure, loss, sickness you name it. I began to dwindle in my academics and what troubled me the most was that I had stopped caring. About everything. I would stay up all night feeling this large void in my heart, and constantly doing everything within my power to fill that void. I had no idea of what was lacking or not lacking, but I sure did know that life was sipping out of me…

I would randomly text my girlfriend and say “I am losing my myself” and like every good friend, she would reply and say “Sorry love. Do you want me to buy pizza for you?”  (For a long time that was a remedy to my every problem whatsoever! Judge me not.lol) Of course depression isn’t quite African per se, and so we find that most Africans don’t know how to handle it, or handle people battling with it. And I do not blame my friend, because it wasn’t her fault that she didn’t know what I was dealing with, after all, I didn’t talk much anyway. I was a typical example of a “suffering and smiling” girl. On the outer, people saw and envied this girl that had it all together, on the inside, that strong girl constantly cringed in pain. 

Some nights, and even during the day, I would turn my frustrations to God. I couldn’t understand how he loved me and would let me go through all that. All that! After pouring all my frustrations on God because I was mad at him, I would run off and go try to fix ME by myself, and end up in deeper frustration. But deep down, I always knew there was more for me in life…there just had to be more…

 Do you relate with this sort of battle? Perhaps your own battle was even fiercer than mine. Perhaps you’ve even contemplated suicide a couple of times, concluding that your life is meaningless. Here is the thing- that’s a LIE OF THE DEVIL. He just wants to waste you because he knows you have been set apart by God for greater things in life.

And hey, here are something’s I learned from that season years ago that helped me come out of that pit. 

The first –You can say NO to depression by choosing to speak up and get help. It’s a lie when your mind tells you that you can handle it all alone! Many times, that can lead to suicide. Ignore that voice of secrecy and listen to the voice of help. Today, the Speaker, Writer and Counselor in me is born just by choosing to say NO.

The second- The empty places in your heart can only be filled by GOD . Not money, not drugs, not sex, not Pizza (if you are like me), not an expensive wardrobe, not cars, not houses, not your spouse, not your children, not your degrees, accolades definitely not anything man-made. You can have all those things and still feel empty on the inside. It is a God-shaped vacuum that can only be filled by God himself. Just allow him fix you.

Fam, what other tips do you know to help our friends battling depression?

You can share this post if you know anyone that needs to see this.

PS: I’m always here if you need to talk to someone. Send me a mail at ajaregina33@gmail.com

Or get in touch with me on social media- Instagram @_uzorr or Facebook Regina U Aja

Until next time, love y”all. Xx!